It's really strange to note that when you start implimenting great ideas into your life, life tosses in challenges to see if you really are as dedicated to the cause as you thought. For instance when I started my diet and exercise routine I started getting catering jobs where they were serving carbs. Lots and lots of carbs. I felt like breaking, but I stuck to my plan. And when I started doing my running at the local track and field, I was getting harassed by the local soccor players that played there every day. I would just turn up the volume of my MD player and keep going. Then when I started realizing that all the anger and feelings and everything else that happens in this world is just an event and how it affects me is based on how my ego, fear, and associations with my past precieves is, things blow way out of proportion between people I know, who put me in the middle, and then both of them get angry at me for not picking sides or pointing out what went wrong in the situation. Now I have one person that's hurt that I didn't defend them to the teeth and nother that is refusing to talk to me. *sigh* They weren't kidding when they said "all new habits being incorporated into your life will be challenged and how you respond will show you how dedicated you are to making it work". Did monks and saints have to go through all of this??? Ok, so in history there have been saints that have been stoned to death. And there have been monks put to death for their bliefs, and neither of the two feared death for they knew the truth. "Energy can neither be created or destroyed, only changed". I am not in that mindset to go through that transformation at the present time. However now that I am being put through this challenge and actually feel like I'm doing a pretty good job of is, does it mean that the friends that I lose out of this aren't healthy for me, and therefore I should be ok with the loss? Bc in truth, since I can't make their mind up for them, and I'm not willing to alter my personal integrity to appease them, does this mean that my relationships with people are going to be subject to this? That if we have a difference of opinion and rather than be willing to say stoop to their level, I hold my ground, and if they feel it's a betrayl of their friendship, there will be a parting of ways? Well, I know that in time, relationships change, and if people are not pairing up in the same way they were before, that it isn't the right or wrong of anyone's actions, but just the point that ppl are growing in different directions, like a branch on a tree. Maybe I will lose a few branches over this, but no tree will uproot itself just to catch a fallen branch.

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